Job Ap Essay

Did y’all think I was up drinking beer with the angels ’cause I haven’t posted for 4 whole days?  Nope, not going to get rid of Jannie quite yet, but I did give Rosie (lovely sister depicted in photo above,) my blog login info, just in case…

So… this weekend while searching through a box of old papers for my “Taming  Your Psychotic Hamster” manual I came across the 97-word essay I wrote once to supplement the veterinarian’s assistant job ap I filled out.   I was perfect for the position but never did get a call-back.   What oh what, could have gone awry?  I mean, was there something I said in the essay below that could’ve put them off?

“I’m qualified for this job because I’m continually dancing.  I got a college education in the bathroom where I majored in biscuits and I consider myself very fragrant and wholesome because I’ve worked as a chandelier.   I’ll be working to support my porcelain husband and our three dentists, am looking for a job that pays between $4.00 and $2799.00 a year and I have extensive experience using staccato leg-lifts and a whisper.  Moreover, I have a naked attitude that makes me good for ice skating.  I think these, among other qualifications, make me right for this rubber job!”

(Okay, so I did it Mad-lib style but what was I missing?)