A happier ending

Poetry | Posted by Jannie on 7 January 2009 @ 6:25 AM (49) Comments

photo by Jannie, 2004

 

(upon discovering Sylvia Plath)

 

I was a mere spring and half a summer away from

becoming flesh the day you laid out bread and milk

and sealed off your kitchen to inhale your final solution.

 

I didn’t even realize until my coffee chat with Bridget

the other day that you lived and died a full hundred

years later than I waywardly assumed you had.

 

Surely poets didn’t suicide themselves in 1963?

 

1863 — 1763 — I could see.  But 1963?

 

Yet you did.

 

And I wonder was your life

like a grasshopper’s on a

windshield at sixty mph,

 

like an uprooted sapling’s who

can’t speak the foreign tongue

of discontinued seasons?

 

Hanging on for dear life

from the rafters of childhood,

from the meat hooks of love,

from the blackness of red tulips,

who knows what night you knew?

 

Ah, gone lady, had we been girls

of beach summers and winter woods

together, I would’ve shown you how to

laugh and wear your hat like starshine,

how to skip the flattest round stones

and joke about moons over tea,

 

every day a small miracle hanging

like children in park swings,

like bras in happy trees. 

 

Like a bord on a wire, 2 — Funny Typos

Funny Typos | Posted by Jannie on 4 January 2009 @ 3:43 PM (56) Comments

My second batch of typos!
1.  Thanks for pooping by.
2.  I give you my wood on this.
3.  Worked on my abs and my gluts this morning.
4.  Your unput is very astute.
5.  Way to go, you skunky girl!
6.  You are my shunshine.
7.  You sound like a self-mad man.
8.  Yeah, thanks to dolks like you.
9.  Talk about a Jelly Seinfeld moment!
10.  What will I find when I Goofle it?

Here is the entire series thus far, in case you are interested. 🙂
Funny Typos 10Funny Typos 9Funny Typos 8 Funny Typos 7Funny Typos 6Funny Typos 5Funny Typos 4Funny Typos 3Funny Typos 2Funny Typos 1

And now that meme!

Friends | Posted by Jannie on 2 January 2009 @ 9:44 PM (43) Comments

So… 7 facts about me, thanks to the tag from Patricia of Patricia’s Wisdom.  BTW, hers is a super-great inspirational blog, if ever you’ll find one.  (And she puts up with my wacky comments over there so you know she’s gotta be a saint.)
1.   I’m blood type B+
2.   I’m always about 5 lbs heavier than I’ll admit at any given time (currently I’m 120.)
3.   I earned a Bachelor’s of Education — French major, History minor but when the Nova Scotia Department of Education filled out my teacher’s certificate they mistakenly gave me a double major and me, being the eternally caring and thoughtful one I am, didn’t want to embarass them so never let them know their error.   : )  
4.  I won the Winter Carnival chocolate-cream-pie eating contest in my college freshman year, womens’ division of course.
5.  I taught school for 2 years in Canada before running off here to Texas with my landlord.  (Still with him more than 18 years later.)
6.   I grew up on a farm and can milk a cow.  Not that I like milking them, but I can.
7.  I am an expert kindling chopper, give me axe, a good chopping block and any log shorter than 3′ and I’ll give you as many perfect 1.5″ x 1.5″ sticks as that log will allow.
There you have them!  Now, as I understand the “rules” of this to be…
A.  You link back to the person who tagged you (as I did above and here with Patricia.)
B.  Tag 7 people (don’t worry if it’s less than 7, it’s all in fun, anyway,) and link them on your blog, as I will below.
C.  Comment on the blogs of the others who were tagged.
So… here are the 7 of you I’m tagging (and dang I hate this freaking default double-spacing.  Gotta get with Kim Woodbridge on that.)  Anyway…   I would like to tag Tammy Cricket but I know she is off to boot camp tomorrow, so Tammy, I’ll get you in the future.  And those of you I did not tag here please don’t think you are not among the favorites of my heart today.  I’m sure I will get to you all as more memes make their way around.
1.  Kayrn  at Sailing the Great Lakes.
2.  Sheila at Ma Vie Folle.
3.  Snaggle Tooth  at Exit Stage Right
4.  Talon at Talonted
5.  Ella  at Jam jar Boogie
6.  Mia at General Hysteria
7.  Heather at How To Be A Woman

Sun, Not So Good For Poets (a poem)

Poetry | Posted by Jannie on 31 December 2008 @ 1:01 PM (53) Comments

(Please note, my professional training is not in poetry but in weaving Easter baskets from childhood sunsets and sidewalks of silk.)

 Sun, Not So Good For Poets

Somewhere blessed with darkness,
someplace delicious with shadows
that can barely even be discerned,
it’s raining a lucky black streak.
But here night’s long since faded
like sugar into water
like sin into stain 
and this virgin page
is in no mood to scuffle with
poems joyous with light or fiddles
or happy bunnies frolicking with cute
little kitties tangled in balls of yellow yarn.
 (A second poem — one including pansies, was later deleted by the author, because upon closer examination, that poem rather sucked.)
Hope the one abve will tide you over until next post when I’ll gleefully honor the lovely Patricia’s  “7 Deep Facts About Me” meme, wherein I’ll be a-taggin’ 7 of you Sweeties.  Who, oh who, will you be?
(I took the above photo a couple days ago outside the DIY store, doesn’t it freaking rock!)  (I say in all humility.)
Pansies are my favorite flowers, their little faces upturned for chin-chuckings from God.  Luckily here in Austin they grace our gardens all winter long.

Unlucky four-leaf-clover CONTEST!!

Rooftop Yodeling | Posted by Jannie on 28 December 2008 @ 1:51 PM (50) Comments

LANCE, you are the winner!!! 

Catherine said, “I’m going to have to call LANCE the winner with this post….   Thanks for the amazing and symbolic idea, Lance!     And thank you Jannie, for hosting this whole thing…  I’ll take a couple of photos of the disposal…   Catherine”
Well, if that ain’t the greatest thing!   You can read Lance‘s contest entry in the comments below here.  And if you aren’t familiar with Lance‘s  “Jungle Of Life” blog yet, you need to do yourself a favor and immerse yourself in his pool of lightness and well-being.  So, in case you didn’t get it those first 4 links, the winner is LanceLanceLance !!!   And one more for HAPPY NEW YEAR luck,  LANCE!!!!!
And I, Jannie have to personally give Glenn an honorable mention for all his totally mind-bending ideas, his is a one-off imagination for sure and I love his comments on this blog.  And to each and every one of you for giving your ideas and making this such a blast,  TANK THANK YOU ALL!  Jannie xo
Below is the original post…
*******************************************************************
2 days ago I linked to a certain “100 Words A Day” blog post.   Remember the heartbreaking hilarity of that effing clover?
Well, it seems Catherine is up for ideas on how to best set that clover, thus herself, free. 
She writes,  “I plan to ceremoniously dispose of the clover on January 1.  It looks pretty much EXACTLY like the pic that Jannie posted.  Any good ideas for ritual clover sacrifice?  Throw it off a tall building?  Run it over with the car?”
Jannie suggests that Catherine toss the clover in a blender with 1/8 cup of olive oil, a raw egg, 2 cups water, one dash pepper, 2 dashes salt, one hair of her head and a squirt of liquid dish soap.  Whip on highest speed for 1 minute.  Then pour the mixture at the rootline of the nearest evergreen tree while chanting,  “Oogie, oogie, boogie-boo,  I pour this goopy-goo on you.  2008 was rather sucky.  But 2009 will be effing lucky.”   [ But I am, of course not eligible to participate ! ]  [ Edit at 9:45 a.m. Monday the 29th. ]
How ‘bout you, Blogging Buddies??  Suggestions how Catherine might sacrifice the offending clover?  And whichever idea Catherine likes best, the WINNER will receive not one, but two, YES, TWO autographed copies of Jannie’s upcoming “I Need A Man” CD !!   You may enter as many tmes as you wish.
Contest closes at 12:00 noon, Central Time Dec. 31 2008. 
(Offer void where prohibited.  Battering not included.  Objects in blog may appear closer than in reality.  No newt eyes harmed in the creation of this post.)