After you read the 4 pansy poems below — be SURE to click here to read my Very Best Pansy Poem ever!!
photo: december 2008, by me, The Child’s Mom.
Pansy One
pansy, pansy in the ground
dancing in your velvet gown
here’s a poem to satisfy
all the poets passing by
Pansy Two Diane broke the special pansy mug
I sent her back in my wildsummer days
of the Reliant Transportation System,
beach runnings and golden sealing wax.
I’ve never been able to find another
just like it and I feel I’ve failed her
(as I feel I’ve failed a few in my day.)
Have you seen a china one, embossed,
a mug as light as wedding cake and
shinier on the outside than seaglass?
Of so, please send c.o.d. with froths
of angels’ lashes and the salt o their
tears and I’ll mail you back my heart.
Pansy Three
I had no intention of writing pansy poems
or even of thinking about their little faces
today but my site stats show people are
hungry for pansy poems, as they are
hungry for world peace and the memory
of tea with grandmother’s lemon pie.
Wow, I’ll be a “Super” Semi-Somebody
with all these pansy seekers flooding in!
Pansy Four
Long-live pansies, Leonard Cohen’s daisies
and all twinkle shooters everywhere, waiting
with bouquets of freshly-cut kisses for me!
[I’ve had a dozen successful CD sales through my yellow “Buy Now” button over there to the right, but] my shy graphic designer friend Jae of Zazzle note says when she clicks on it, she gets directed to another of my links and not to Paypal as intended. Yikes. Does that happen when YOU click on it? [And don’t worry – clicking won’t mean you’ll have to buy, you’d have to go through a couple additional steps for that. Could it be a Mac vs Windows thing? A browser thing? Cookie thing? Classic Funsterment glitch?]
And because a picture is always nice in a post, let me get a fav of mine for you, Kelly on our back porch 2 years ago.
May I please share with you some of the latest keywords that actual humans actually typed to land on this, my humble site, as shown by my Google stats? Why, thank you, I’d be delighted!
– almost passed out at sink
– asparagus tea
– ass-less hipwaders
– bra consultants
– being a drunk [Yup, that’s me!] – do greencarders need passport
– duct tape depilatory
– dylan thomas bra [Well, I never knew! Did you?] – even amidst fierce flames the golden lotus can be planted
– eye-bug-you [Well, sorry, that’s just the way I came.] – fat guy in hip waders
– film with jannie the christian girl
– funstermagic [I like to think so!]
– fuzzy cookie monster pants
– granniepanties
– honest things in this world [Thanks, I do try.] – how to play mission impossible on a ukulele
– I hear god’s voice in my head. Am i crazy?
– I’ve got a chainsaw [Bring it on!]
– jannie supermodel [Hope I didn’t disappoint.] – jock straps with four leaf clovers
– male bra fittings
– margarita drunk vs wine drunk
– missing things from the eighties
– mortuary assistant cover letter
– poem great farting contest [What !?]
– real life pictures of loose pants
– real good poems about people running away
– shih tzu puppy eats potpourri
– shortest bike shorts
– talon twinkle [Yes, she does, doesn’t she!] – ten things an ideal woman should have [Glad you noticed.]
– thick fuzzy underwear
– totally jannie
– wedgie dojo exercise video
– what mean asparagus hunted you
What about you guys – any “interesting” keywords that landed folks on your site lately?
If you too have Google Analytics but are not sure how to get to the keywords section, do this… Dashboard >Traffic sources > Keywords. Easy!
MY FABULOUS NEW P.O. BOX !!!!!! – what a thrill. Now I’m more than ever a semi-somebody!
(Thanks Cedar’s Mountain blog for the “semi-somebody” contribution.) 🙂
Have you noticed the new buttons on the kind-of-upper-right-area of this page?! Yes, three ways to add Jannie’s award-winning songstressing to your realm. (CDs $10.00, plus low S&H.)
1. By Paypal / credit card (that yellow “Buy Now” button)
2. Send money to MY FABULOUS NEW P.O. BOX !!!!!!
3. Buy the CD here in Austin at Waterloo Records.
(I’ll work on that i-Tunes thing next.)
My aim is to get my hands all sticky with HTML code and replace those 3 buttons to the right with one gloriously feng shui “Buy Jannie’s CD!” button, to whisk you to my Buy CD page where you’ll commune with my spirit while ordering CDs to your heart and wallet’s content any time of the day or night, in any weather, in any manner of dress or undress.
And now… a total non-sequitur… what album(s) have you worn out playing?
I’ll go first… U2s “The Joshua Tree.” Carole King’s “Tapestry.” And Bach and Handel’s “Greatest Hits.”
And have you noticed a fair amout of ass-kicking around here lately??
