Mysteries | Posted by Jannie on 23 June 2009 @ 7:44 AM
photo credit: images buy costumes
Friends, I’m not really looking for answers to these, they’re mostly rhetorical. Still, if you do have tips for me on any of these, I’ll more than welcome them.
1. Why, in a house with mostly tiled floors, do the dogs and cat pick the one room with carpet to do all their barfing in?
2. Why when I tussle with my hair-do does it always looks like a hair “don’t” but when I style it quickly with abandoned nonchalance, it comes out great?
3. Why can’t I ever remember to put the sunscreen on my forearms BEFORE I put on my sports bra? [as I usually get the sunscreen on my bra.]
4. Why does my dear husband insist on saving his beat-up old wallet and briefcase after he’s bought new ones?
5. Why in my 20s would I not leave the house without complete casual chic attire — but now, if I find a clean t-shirt and somewhat acceptably-fitting pants, am I dressed to the nines for the day? (And what are “the nines” anyway?)
6. Why, further to #5 and general personal upkeep, do I usually look either like Cousin Itt or like something Talon’s cat dragged in?
7. Why did I think a giant margarita and some dark chocolate might magically alleviate my allergy symptoms?
8. Why do leftover Cheerios in milk start to smell like cooked chicken after a while? I’m serious! Have you noticed that too?
9. Why as I get older do I feel younger? And happier?
10. Why did I pick the exact 2-second window the mailman was strolling up the walkway to walk past the front door naked?
Funny Searches | Posted by Jannie on 20 June 2009 @ 7:09 AM
photo credit: deefilly
Friends, more things people actually typed to land themselves here.
1: Bras
— elf flinging bra
— four leaf clover bra
— secretary must never wear a bra
— bra appreciation
— fitting men for bras
— bra cookies come out (Yeah, I can totally relate! And cake is even worse, especially the heavily-frosted kind.)
— lost bra poem (Anyone inspired to write one?)
— boob sock (this category, right?)
— bras of the world
2: Bords
— jump on a bord and make people fly
— i don’t know what to do because i am bord (Hey, that person learned to spell here!)
— fly like a bord
3: Hipwaders / Butts
— how to dress under hip waders (same as under a kilt?)
— do doctor take off pant to give the shot to woman in the butt
— naked hipwaders
— I love when my wife wears hipwaders
— fishing waders for a guy who wears size 42 pants
— i fell in with my waders video
— indentation buttocks
— powder blue fishing waders (yes, my favorite color too!)
4: Magic / Fuzzy
— pictures of monkeys wearing magic cloths
— crocheting your own fuzzy boots
— magic the pants
— fuzzy poet
5: All Else
— kick um jannie
— eternal smooches
— get freaking drunk
— jannie putter
— kitchie kookie
— bionic clover
— mood of poem to the virgin
— kungfonster
— hated because I have a nice home
— ten most popular places for missing passport to turn up
— I think I’m crazy keep doing funny voices
— caring for a milkcow
— why did orgo iron his four-leaf clover
— ill preparedness
— debbies dacshunds
— disappointed grandmother (Poor Grannie Jannie)
— circus striped pants 36
— first crush julie andrews
— real drunk russian
— allergic to ukulele
— debbie shore in thigh high boots
— girls chainsaws videos
— hanging wedgie dares
— i got talent chainsaw
— woman milking cow videos
— one sad old bunny is reading blogs
Seriously Weird | Posted by Jannie on 17 June 2009 @ 7:23 AM
hi, Blue bunny here. thanks for chusing me for my jannies kommints grabatar. we gonna has so much funs bogging togedder!
i is real cute, eh? foto is from the day my kelly bringed me home.
you has any kuestions about me or my jannie? i not to shy to tell ALL the sekrits of my jannie, hee-hee. my jannie is on vakasions in her minde for a few days but if you asks kuestions i wil anser wit my jannies spookie big eye, telling only the real troots — not macaronis and 3-legs goats and stuffs like my jannie makes up for entertanmints.
whoo-freeky-hoo.
I have no idea who Tara is, the sprite who incited both Deeper Issues Dot and Passing Thru Betsy to honor me with meme action, but I thank her deeply for this opportunity to share more deeply true Jannie.
1. Who is the hottest movie star?
Larry of the Three Stooges is my all-time fav, but if we’re talking contemporary actors, I like that Russell Crowe guy. Girl-wise, I like Uma Thurman.
2. Apart from your house and car, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?
Definitely my genuine-imitation Mr. Spock belt buckle, as seen on tv. A $379.99 value I scored for only $19.99.
Next most expensive thing, my good-used marble cheese tray for $17.50.
3. What’s your most treasured memory?
Oh, I have so many, but the June Saturday afternoon I got my green wrestling outfit when I was 13 springs to mind. I was so energized by the shiny spandex, I put “Big Mike” McGillicuddy in a headlock for 30 minutes until he finally aplogized for teasing me all those years about my knobby knees. Then all of us kids on both sides of the long-standing feud kissed, made up and went for shakes at the Dairy Dip where my Uncle Sylvester dropped by with his 3-legged goat, Miriam.
4. What was the best gift you ever received as a child?
The box of elbow macaroni Aunt Freda brought me from Italy. I still have half of it.
5. What’s the biggest mistake you’ve made?
Putting salt instead of sugar in Uncle Sylvester’s birthday cake. Whoops. Miriam ate it, tho. Stole the whole thing right off the picnic table and lived to “maaa” the tale.
6. 4 words to describe yourself.
Spritely. Optimistic. Forgiving. Infinite.
7. What was your highlight or lowlight of 2008?
Getting the Christmas tree early was so great! Jim brought it home the day after Thanksgiving, a real nice fir that had slid off some old guy’s truck at a red light. Lowlight of 2008 — missing out on the bake sale at church ’cause I had to sit with the cat at the vet’s all day due to his post-neutering psychosomatica. I heard there was divinity fudge. And candy apples. And baklava flaking so lightly and honeyed it could make angels cry for weeks.
8. Favorite film?
Three! Waking Ned Divine. Ghostbusters. How To Hook A Rug In Four Minutes.
9. Tell me one thing I don’t know about you.
I wear a full-body vintage girdle every day. Like this one…
10. If you were a comic book / strip character, who would you be?
I would be the stick-person named Susan Lam that Kelly created and centers her adventure stories around.
Bonus question: What’s one stupid thing you did today, Jannie?
Didn’t let the water run at least 45 seconds first thing in the morning before drinking some.
Ta-da!
Okay you guys know what’s coming next, right? I’m supposed to pass this on to seven of you. But I’m gonna make it 10, ’cause I like the number 10, it’s so… Metric System.
So, here goes. And if anybody feels left out, please e-mail me and let me know you’d like to be tagged for my next meme, as I have no way of knowing who likes meming and who wants to avoid it like a rabid pigeon on a sugar-high.
1. Tammy of Windows 2 The Soul
2. Carla of Kootenay Bliss
3. Teahouseblossom of Teahouseblossom
4. Karyn of Sailor Mittens
5. Bella of She Sleeps With Sea Glass
6. Aimee of the Aimee Brons Blog
7. K of Interstitial Life
8. TheWeyrd1 of Keen Observer Of The Human Condition
9. Lane Savant of Feel Free To Laugh
10. Adrenalynn of Rainy Day
Tagged ones, Blame Tara indeed! 🙂
Technorati Profile
Ass Kicking, Blogging | Posted by Jannie on 10 June 2009 @ 10:56 AM
1. 
2. 
3. 
I’m going to choose one of those 3 little pics as the default for my non-Gravatarred commenting buds. I know. I know. You’ll miss the highly esteemed Mystery Man we chatted about in my previous post about getting your very own Gravatar and how easy (and free,) it is. Sorry. But folks, M. Man has seen his day here and we do have the technology to make this blog all that it can be: my WordPress Consultant, Kim Woodbridge sees to stuff like that, whoo-hoo.
I’m leaning towards the wood duck. What do you think?
Here is the duck bigger (If you wish, click it to bigger it even more. Actually, click twice for maximum biggerment.) I shot him (with my camera,) along the running trail last year. He is so freaking gorgeous – looks like a painting, I do declare. Wait, is he in fact a “he?” I need to brush up on my wood ducks.
So let me know if you like 1, 2 or 3 better and I’ll go with the general concensus. Please! And thank you!
Oh, and I’ll totally post that “Blame Tara Meme” next time — look for it on Saturday morning, early. It reveals tidbits about my Mr. Spock belt buckle, my Uncle Sylvester’s 3-legged goat and my full-body girdle.
Toodles!
