A Burger Kind Of Blogger

Greetings, Adorable Peeps. Lance of The Jungle Of Life is here!!

Kelly (who is 9) asked him the questions this time.

So let’s get to it!

oh, yay i bin wating months and months for lanse to retern. hoooooo-woooooo.

Hey, Lance! How is your Internet toe? Have you been using it lately?

My Internet toe (for those of you wondering, I explained to Kelly – last year – how I had a computer built into my big toe) has gone dormant for the winter. I guess it’s like a big ol’ black bear going into hibernation.

Lance, do you have any kids? I’d like to meet them.

I have three kids – Jakob, Bekah, and Cameron. How would you like to be a girl, sandwiched between two brothers?? (that’s Bekah!) Scary, huh!

Almost all of them are taller than their mom (my wife, Lora).

wow, they groes ’em tall in wiskonsin!

Hey, Kelly we all should meet! How about halfway in between us. Wait, you would probably still be in Texas!!! (that is one BIG state!)

Sure, Lance, that would be swell.  Or how ’bout Disney World!

Tell me, do you still drink coffee?

I’m drinking coffee right now. Guess who else drinks coffee? If you guessed Cameron, you are right! That guy, he started early!! I drink it black (and it doesn’t hibernate in the winter, like my Internet toe).

Do you like it when it rains? And if so, why?

I do like the rain. The puddles are extra fun – SPLASH!!! I like the sound too, of the rain coming down.

Can you knit?

Is “knit” the plural of “knot”? If so, I DO!! (and, granny-style!!)

Are your grandparents still alive?

Hmmm…how about that Kelly! I was just talking about granny up above!!

No, my grandparents are no longer alive. They were great people to have in my life, though. Both sets of grandparents lived on farms (here in Wisconsin), so it was always fun to visit and milk the cows, run through the fields, and catch fireflies!

I’m sorry to hear your grandparents are no longer alive, I bet they were awesome!! Did your grandma ever knit you a sweater?

Hmmm…I don’t remember a sweater. Then again, I also don’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday, either…

You are so funny, Lance!

What are your hopes and dreams for the future?

Wow, this is probably going to sound all “pie in the sky”. Speaking of pie in the sky, wouldn’t that be cool in it rained down pies!! Snack time in the rainstorm!! I think I would like rain even more!

Okay…back to your question. My hopes and dreams are for a world where we live in more harmony. And where all people are as sweet as YOU!! Oh, and where ice cream is best food for you!

I like your dreams, Lance, especially if it rained apple pie.

i lieks lanses dreems too. mine is a dreem of raining karrits. and a beers for my jannie.

Have you ever been in the desert without any water?

No, I have not. Have you?

No, I  haven’t but I saw a movie about that. I’d rather be in a snow storm.

I was recently biking in Arizona, though (that’s desert-like!), and we were getting pretty low on water when we finished. That’s the closest I’ve come to no water in a desert. (whew, a close call that was!)

I am wondering if you collect Silly Bandz? I have over 250, would love to trade with you if you have any.

No, I don’t have any Silly Bandz. I know, I’m just not into all the cool activities, am I.

Maybe when we meet, I could give you a chunk of cheese, and you could give me a Silly Band. Then we could both start new collections (I’m sure you have always dreamed of a cheese collection…).

I collect shoes. What brand of shoes do you wear? I hope you don’t wear the crappy kind.

My most favorite shoes are a pair of flip flops.

And the brand is way cool, too! Sanuk! Do you know what that means, Kelly? Sanuk is the Thai word for “fun”! Now…how FUN is that, anyway!!

I wore them outside last week, surrounded by snow! Okay…that was NOT such a FUN idea…

hay, i know wot is FUN — painting lanse’s toe nales…

there, mutch beter! yoo agrees?

BB, you are such a nut!

Lance, what’s your favorite website, other than my mom’s, (which is obviously the best site in the world.)

[I told y’all she’s a trip, right?]

I was out near our shed last spring, and there was this huge spider web – wow, it was perfect!! So, I guess my favorite “web” site is near our shed. Oh, and I didn’t know about your Mom and her spider webs. Where does she keep them, anyway? Do the spiders scare you, or do you think they are pretty cool?

I think spiders are freaky. Hey, and did you know that Daddy Long Legs are poisonous but they can’t bite people because their mouth is too small?

Lance, were you popular back in school?

Hmmm…popular? There was that one year I tried to perm my hair (whoa, what was I thinking, anyway???) in an effort to raise my popularity points. I’m slightly smarter nowadays (…slightly…)

Did you drop out of high school, and if so, was dropping out fun?

I completed all four years of my high school (in four years!!). There was, however, that one time I had the brilliant idea of drop out, become a hobo, and travel the country by train.

As life would have it, that never happened. Hmmm…I wonder what would have happened had I chosen that route? Maybe I never would have had this very cool opportunity to be interviewed by you. So, I’m pretty glad I didn’t drop out!

Did you love school?

Love school? How about this? I LOVED the spelling bee at school. Well, at least the one we had at our little school (and little it was – especially my elementary school).

oh, i loved speling too. i winned menny speling trofees and ribbins!!

I lived way out in the country, and took the bus to school. Do you take the bus to school?

No, I drive in my mom’s fancy limo. 🙂

How is your cat, Rufus? Are you allergic to him?

Rufus just bit me!!! He seemed genuinely happy, though, so it’s okay that I lost a finger. Luckily it wasn’t a toe…especially my Internet toe!

I’m not allergic to him. He sneezed, though, as he walked by last week. I think HE might be allergic to ME…

What’s your favorite tv show?

I really don’t watch much tv. However, every once in a while I’ll watch a little Sponge Bob (hey, he gets to wear square pants, and do some pretty cool things with Patrick!)

hay, speeking of spungebob, ennybuddy notice my jannies big eye looks a bit like plankton today? i thinks so.

Blue Bunny! I do NOT!!!

Do I?

yep, sorry my jannie, butt troo. yoo do.

Shoot, I kinda do.

 (slinks off embarassed for rest of interview, if not rest of blogging career…)

But back to Lance!

 Lance, what was your favorite tv show as a kid? Was it educational?

I loved Scooby Doo. In fact, I still do! Scooby and Shaggy were the best!! And that is definitely educational t.v.!! In fact, I still use what I learned back then from Scooby (like how to eat properly!!)

What’s your favorite restaurant? Italian? Chinese? American? British? German? Scottish?

I’m a burger kind of guy. Five Guys, that’s a fun place!! Although…I don’t get there very often. When I do, though…YUM!! So, Kelly, what’s YOUR favorite restaurant?

I like Sonic.  Their burgers are awesome.

Kelly, wow you have asked some challenging questions!! Whew! (how did I do???)

You did good, yay.  I give you an A-.

And guess what? Now…I’m going to ask you a question. Are you ready for it??

Yep!

What makes you crazy happy?

When I get to hug trees. 

When I actually find some pants in my pants drawer.

When I lie in my leather chair in the tv room. (P.S. I’m in the chair right now. )

When I wake up at like, 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning — it gives me a good feeling. 

When I get to go to Krispy Kreme and get a free sample of a fresh warm donut.

When it snows, especially the type good for building a snow man.  I’ve seen snow 3 times.

And I like doing interviews with you!

You are one fun kiddo!! And it is super cool to be here today!!

Happy happy boom boom!!

You too Lance.  Mom and I thank you SO MUCH!!

And I hope you have a good birthday, whenever your birthday is. Love, Kelly Funster.

And Mom says……

Please don’t forget to follow Lance on Twitter here and on Facebook Here.

Also, pop on over to his Jungle Of Life blog, and sign up for his awesome new Jungle 2.0 newsletter here.

Her Red Computer — in 55 Words

Her red laptop gleams.
Brand spanking new.
Her bouncing bundle of joy.

Is her coffee mug red too?
Her jammies?
Her fluffy bunny slippers?

Will her cheeks redden a bit
as she reads this?

Will she jump barefoot into the snow?

Will she smile and realize she
is loved well by so many of us?

A 55 for our G-Man.

xoxoxo

— Inspired by and dedicated to our living literary legend, Fireblossom, “poetry & such like”

gerber dasies photo credit: mcnally photography.

Laguna Gloria, Austin Texas

One time a girl and her mother stepped out of a Honda

in Austin, Texas onto the grounds of a castle in Spain.

  
Or was it Italy?

The Mother gets those romance lands all mixed up.

 
Anyhoo, the Girl and The Mother

lunched on linen (or at least pretended to,)

then strolled the grounds with parasols

down the statued path

through the gazebo garden

past wide palms

and ancient oaks

to the marsh at the lake.

(Marsh left to your imagination.)

And eventually back to the Honda again.

This Honda… (You’ve seen it before enricing my her life.)

(‘cept these days I, whoops — I mean “The Mother” is back in a Toyota.)

After The Mother posts this she will lunch,

then Google the chords for “All Along The Watch Tower,”

which she is excited about learning on her blue Pignose guitar,

the guitar The Child was playing in this photo when she was 5,

the guitar The Mother got when she was in The Funsters band.

The Mother is thinking those chords might come in handy

for a new song she is writing called “Banana Seat Bicycle.”

Then The Mother will head out to lop 10 small tree branches to

start making table centrepieces for the big gala next month.

(That last part is the God’s-honest truth!)

(More in a future post, on what may end up being 60 centerpieces!)

See y’all later, my Cuties!

xoxo

* Laguna Gloria Museum in the heart of Austin, Texas — formerly a private villa, now a gallery and art school. (Lovely pix to see by clicking that link.)

All these broken-arm girl photos taken at Laguna Gloria with The Mother’s  iPhone 3GS, June, 2010.  Child was then 8.

xoxoxoxo

Thank You, Kind Stranger — in 55 words

Me with iPhone last Sunday

asking The Husband and Child

to pose by the cypress.

Stranger pipes up,

“Hey, want me to take one

with all three of you?”

“Sure!” I jumpingly grin.

“Just don’t run off with our phone,”

The Husband jokes.

Stranger laughs

then taps the screen,

his simple kindness

rippling through

our lives forever.

That was a life-slice in 55 words for The One, The Only, G-man.

Post a 55, let G-Man know and he’ll write interesting things on your blog.

Photos taken on Red Bud Isle, Austin Texas, Sunday, January 2nd, 2011, around 4:00 p.m.

(Top photo by Kind Stranger, aka Kenneth-the-freshwater-quality guy.  The other 2 by me.)

Posted with love and thankfulness.

Jannie

xoxoxo

xoxoxo

Funny Typos, 19 — Triple Sin Edition

1. Your sidebar button will move down 1 spat a day for 20 days. (Duke it out, Peeps)

(Y’all know Shay Fireblossom, G-Man & Mama Zen, right? 3 of my favorite bloggers.)

2. Yes, I’m the type who always cries in church and at weedings.

3. Today I swept and mapped all my floors!!

4. It seems his hired buns do all the legwork.

5. I’ve got a whole box of mismathed socks to send you.

6. I’m free for lynch any day this week.

7. I’m just lost without my sumglasses. (Hard to do my mismath without them)

8. Yay! I finally found the perfect bowl of cramberries for BB’s header.

9. My favorite colors to wear? Fuschia and navy blur.

1o. Still can’t believe you’ve drooped into my life.

11. Blue Bunny is now off to do the dishes, then mop and sweet the floors.

12. Yay, Jim’s got the new closets all funished out!

13. Who knows where the road will lead us?  Only a food would say.

The Annoying Orange

14. Jannie Funster — writing songs & sinning for donuts & beer.

15. Will we get to hear your gorgeous sinning voice on video soon?

16. What could be better than love, peace and joy in sinplicity?

17. Have you settled down for a nice winter’s nap with your wine in a kerchief and you in a cap?

18. I need to free up some starage on my computer.

19. I don’t really NEED a chic new mid-thigh length swearer, but I want one.

20. To say that blogging has enriced my life doesn’t even begin to describe it.

xoxoxo and such.

P.S.  Here’s the original boxing poster from the first pic, in case you’re so interested…

(What’s written in the bottom right corner is just spooky, don’t ya think?)

xoxo agin.